What.CD

It all started when the short Hispanic chick I was into told me her friend thought I was cute, and pointed in her general direction. I assumed it was the OTHER hispanic chick I was into. Of course, when I say into we all know what that means. Turns out not, so I write down my number on a sticky pad and wait for them to walk by my lab table again, it's a different gal. Still cute, I'll give it a shot.

Two weeks later we're going at it like two starved rabbits on a self-actualized mission to give spawn to the last bunny on earth. It was wonderful. I never once noticed she was wearing a scarf.

We end up dating. I take her to a bar, she orders a PBR. I've never been much of a beer snob, so it didn't phase me. I ordered one myself and championed it as supporting the good ol' days when beer was a livelihood and not a retirement plan for guys with a warehouse on 2 acres of land. I don't like those guys anyway.

Time passes, and I start to notice she's wearing glasses. She's never worn glasses, in fact she DOESN'T wear glasses. Exactly what the hell is going on here? She comes over one day wearing THOSE shoes. The grandma slippers, you know the ones. Same scarf, glasses...and it dawns on me, I'm dating a fucking hipster. I called dad immediately.

"YOU WHAT? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE"
"Dad, I'm at my apartmen-"
"I HAVE NO SON"
"You have three..."
"HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR MOTHER WOULD FEEL ABOUT THIS, MARY GET IN HERE"
"Dad ma's been dead for six yea-"

This goes on for hours. Finally I hang up and consider freebasing just to take my mind off of things.

Fast forward a few weeks and I'm working the night shift after a big snowstorm. She needs a ride home, so I take an early dinner break. Somehow we end up at a warehouse parking lot, strategically parked between some stranded cars and a dumpster, in the back seat slapping groins. I see a car coming down the hill, I tell her to be still. The windows are fogged as hell, but I can see the headlights; from the outside I would assume my car looked like the other stranded cars. The investigator turns around in the parking lot and leaves. I roll down the window and see a car that wasn't there before and a light on inside the warehouse.

That was too close of a call, tresspassing, public indecency...I have a job I need to keep. We start getting dressed, she's half spazzing out half trolling. Further realizations come to the fore: we nearly got busted and there's people in the building right next to us, if this were a zombie epidemic she'd get us both killed. This isn't good. I drop her off, finish my shift, went home and did a couple of lines before passing out.

I woke up in a cold sweat at 4AM: "Holy shit..I'm dating a retarded hipster".

Now I need to break up with her.

Stay tuned.

cool

story

EDIT:
bro.


-----

Okay I can't say this wasn't an A+ opening post.

Good luck. But you seem into (fucking) her, so why not talk with her about it? Maybe you can dehipster her.

Last edited by DutchDude 3 hours and 22 mins ago

Subscribed.

Not sure what to believe about this, or what she has done other than wear clothes you don't like. Maybe you're the retarded hipster??

I think you've met your perfect match, coffee.

I am amused.

worth dumping if she really isn't concerned about zombie survivability.

coffee wrote:

if this were a zombie epidemic she'd get us both killed.

Break up with her now. Seriously.

Post pics and let us evaluate her level of hipster.

hahaha "I never once noticed she was wearing a scarf."

I didn't. I was all "dat ass, HRRNT" etc.

Beware if she tells you she has a medal from the olympics....




Also, you saying "Hispanic chick" made me laugh because I've never heard that other than in cartoons or something.

Last edited by DarkRyder14 2 hours and 57 mins ago

1) Da butt.

This is entertaining.

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around 'hispanic hipster'. I thought it was a white middle class thing. I mean hipsters are way too mundane to be racist but I've only ever seen white ones. But then again I live in Amherst.

well... can't you guys just be fuck buddies?

shardz wrote:

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around 'hispanic hipster'. I thought it was a white middle class thing. I mean hipsters are way too mundane to be racist but I've only ever seen white ones. But then again I live in Amherst.

a hipspanic!

Gearmond wrote:

well... can't you guys just be fuck buddies?

Apparently not, she's not into that sort of thing.

Which I found odd, considering I plowed that like an indentured servant on the first date.

Gearmond wrote:

well... can't you guys just be fuck buddies?

Dis

Please let this thread last for ever and ever.

The real tragedy in all this is that we've actually broken up before after she found out about my drug habit. Turns out, in addition to casual sex, she also does not care for guys who sit at home after work/class, watching TV Land trying to get as high as possible.

Do her glasses have lenses in them? If so, she cannot be A-grade hipster.

ConquestTSi wrote:

shardz wrote:

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around 'hispanic hipster'. I thought it was a white middle class thing. I mean hipsters are way too mundane to be racist but I've only ever seen white ones. But then again I live in Amherst.

a hipspanic!

turrible

coffee wrote:

The real tragedy in all this is that we've actually broken up before after she found out about my drug habit. Turns out, in addition to casual sex, she also does not care for guys who sit at home after work/class, watching TV Land trying to get as high as possible.

She sounds whorrible.


also, that is the correct way to watch TV Land, you sir, are in fact; doing it right.

No shit, I know what I'm doing.

shardz wrote:

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around 'hispanic hipster'. I thought it was a white middle class thing. I mean hipsters are way too mundane to be racist but I've only ever seen white ones. But then again I live in Amherst.

Dude there are tons of Hispanic hipsters in Brooklyn. But they really only exist in places like Brooklyn. Also they're really cute.

p.s. It's hard to take OP's post seriously considering it's coffee.

wow, if she doesn't like drugs and casual sex, she really IS a retarded hipster.

I must say... Hispanic girls can be extremely cute/attractive. Mmmmmmmmmm.



Then again, all girls can be, so whatevz.

ampersand wrote:

I must say... Hispanic girls can be extremely cute/attractive. Mmmmmmmmmm.

Especially the short ones.

coffee wrote:

Which I found odd, considering I plowed that like an indentured servant on the first date.

hahahaha, wow.

ampersand wrote:

I must say... Hispanic girls can be extremely cute/attractive. Mmmmmmmmmm.



Then again, all girls can be, so whatevz.

Strongly disagree.

mbvglider wrote:

p.s. It's hard to take OP's post seriously considering it's coffee.

Basically this, sans it's Coffe. Either way, superb story, eagerly waiting for more.

Acolytic wrote:

ampersand wrote:

I must say... Hispanic girls can be extremely cute/attractive. Mmmmmmmmmm.

Especially the short ones.

kries.jpg

:~

:fap:

shardz wrote:

ampersand wrote:

I must say... Hispanic girls can be extremely cute/attractive. Mmmmmmmmmm.



Then again, all girls can be, so whatevz.

Strongly disagree.

To what aspect? That Hispanic girls can be cute/attractive or that all girls can be? By all girls, I meant all ethnicities, not ALL girls.

Acolytic wrote:

ampersand wrote:

I must say... Hispanic girls can be extremely cute/attractive. Mmmmmmmmmm.

Especially the short ones.

Yes, the short ones. Or the tall voluptuous ones. Must-continue-learning-Spanish.

Last edited by ampersand 1 hour and 56 mins ago

Not all Hispanic girls are short and feisty or tall and voluptuous.

Stereotypes.

Hit it one last time, and dump it.

mbvglider wrote:

Not all Hispanic girls are short and feisty or tall and voluptuous.

Stereotypes.

This, I've known some that are vice versa or do not fit into here at all.

mbvglider wrote:

Not all Hispanic girls are short and feisty or tall and voluptuous.

Stereotypes.

That's why he said "the ----- ones."

:\

Does she know you fight tanks?

After reading the original post, you two are meant for one another.

Hysterical post!

This came to mind:

the fact that you started a thread means you have doubts, if you need the internet's help please follow proper procedure and post pics

subscribed.

The image made me chuckle. Note to myself be aware of scarfs.

Can't stop eyeballing her friend.

tomorrow, i'm single

amxtrash wrote:

mbvglider wrote:

Not all Hispanic girls are short and feisty or tall and voluptuous.

Stereotypes.

That's why he said "the ----- ones."

:\

Thank you for paying attention.

ampersand wrote:

To what aspect? That Hispanic girls can be cute/attractive or that all girls can be? By all girls, I meant all ethnicities, not ALL girls.

I have never seen a black girl I find attractive, and I really don't care for hispanic girls either. In my opinion it's White > Indian / Middle Eastern > Asian / Native American > Hispanic > Black.

Last edited by shardz 21 mins ago

mbvglider wrote:

Not all Hispanic girls are short and feisty or tall and voluptuous.

Stereotypes.

The ones i have "known" have all been short and feisty. :-) - lovely girls all of them.

Miss Bolivia started a huge hue+cry over the issue a couple of years ago though . [ santa cruz - say no more ]

Given that Hispanic girls can look anything from white to black, I really don't know how you can say you don't care for Hispanic girls.

shardz wrote:

I have never seen a black girl I find attractive, and I really don't care for hispanic girls either.

Fetch medication for this mans mind - ahorita!

mbvglider wrote:

Given that Hispanic girls can look anything from white to black, I really don't know how you can say you don't care for Hispanic girls.

It's not all about skin colour but more about bone structure, etc.

Last edited by shardz 19 mins ago

shardz you need to think things over buddy.

Really? So you're suggesting that you take a nice Spanish-looking girl, but if she was born in Mexico, she's now unattractive.

No, I'm saying I'd find both probably unattractive.

It's a matter of taste anyways. :/

Last edited by shardz 14 mins ago

Even if they were born and raised completely in, say, New York.

You're making a lot of sense.

lemosax wrote:

Hysterical post!

This came to mind:
http://whatimg.com/images/18383692301381240581.jpg (image)

hahahaha that image is hilarious lol

But Spanish people are white.

euimyself wrote:

But Spanish people are white.

Would you like me to break it down by specific look? It was just generalisations based ethnicity.

mbvglider wrote:

Even if they were born and raised completely in, say, New York.

You're making a lot of sense.

It doesn't matter where they're from, it matters what they look like. I think that makes sense.

shardz - come back to the light of hetrosexuality :-)

Latinas are spicy. - honest ! [ Colombian]

Sure, I can't imagine you've been around too many different types of people, though, if you're grouping Native Americans and Asians together, or Indians and Middle Easterners.

Where do you live? Sweden?

Last edited by mbvglider 9 mins ago

Every coffee thread is golden however, shardz ruined it. Waiting for moar updates, coffee \o/

shardz wrote:

It's not all about skin colour but more about bone structure, etc.

I don't want to get this thread too far off topic, but it really does sound like you're supporting craniometry, which has been shown on multiple occasions to be extremely weak science. Adding to the fact that it is still commonly used by white supremacists despite the evidence against it, people should be critical of your statements.

What has been shown is that you cannot generalize things like bone and body structure across "races" because often you find that there are more similarities between races than within a race. So... just wait, I think you'll find someone not of Nordic blood that you are unquestionably attracted to. And you might be surprised to hear what their racial makeup is.

--

I am terribly sorry to derail this great great thread. Please add another suggestion to put it in this dirty hipster's butt.

Last edited by aurallyfit 6 mins ago

mbvglider wrote:

Sure, I can't imagine you've been around too many different types of people, though, if you're grouping Native Americans and Asians together, or Indians and Middle Easterners.

Where do you live? Sweden?

I didn't say they looked the same, I said I find them generally on the same level of attractiveness, based on what I'm more likely to find attractive based on observation. There are lots of exceptions anyways, it's something subjective I'm attempting to make a model for to describe my own behaviour.

I have been around many people of many different ethnicities, and I currently live in Massachusetts.

Was OP's post real?

aurallyfit wrote:

shardz wrote:

It's not all about skin colour but more about bone structure, etc.

I don't want to get this thread too far off topic, but it really does sound like you're supporting craniometry, which has been shown on multiple occasions to be extremely weak science. Adding to the fact that it is still commonly used by white supremacists despite the evidence against it, people should be critical of your statements.

What has been shown is that you cannot generalize things like bone and body structure across "races" because often you find that there are more similarities between races than within a race. So... just wait, I think you'll find someone not of Nordic blood that you are unquestionably attracted to. And you might be surprised to hear what their racial makeup is.

Look man, I'm saying that some people have general looks and I tend to find people from different regions more and less attractive than others. I'm not claiming there's any science related to what I'm saying; it's just personal preference based on personal experience. I find plenty of people of non-nordic descent attractive, and many of very mixed ethnicity.

I wish I had the luxury to sit around and group girls by their ethnicity as I debate whether I'd hit it.

I'd hit anything that moves or can move with the help of an electronic wheelchair.

mbvglider wrote:

I wish I had the luxury to sit around and group girls by their ethnicity as I debate whether I'd hit it.

I'd hit anything that moves or can move with the help of an electronic wheelchair.

I vote mbv for president.